Reflections on Attachment

Thirteen years ago as I prepared for the adoption of my first daughter I, like many other parents, embarked upon reading every piece of “helpful” guidance that I could find.  The plethora of advice and opinions available related to attachment and/or bonding really heightened my awareness of the great importance of this issue. It seemed like every author had both their must do and their must don’t do lists: the problem was they weren’t in agreement. By the time I headed off to bring home my sweet baby (actually a 6 year old), the possibilities of attachment failure and the potential long-term consequences of not achieving an adequate attachment weighed heavy on my mind. I had bought into the idea that attachment was an all or none adventure and that the possibility of messing it up was high.